W-Two (feat. Ten Fourty A.K.A. EZ)

It's tax season!  Our little hedgefunders planned an adventure scavenger hunt this Friday which will mimic the asinine complexities of the United States' tax code.  No sign-up required

Time: 10:40 AM
Place: Hedgefunders' Hedgerow Garden

No Yokes Please

Cowboy classes are a welcomed addition to the Kamp Koop extracurricular activities this semester.  See your counselor for details.

käm(ə)ˈrädərē

It's been a long week and we're all feeling drained at Kamp Koop.  In an effort to lighten the mood, the Kamp Band will play a late show in the little used "fancy dance box" on the third floor of the Greek Studies building.  We don't want to give too much away, but we hear they've been arranging some new tunes in the key of d(ancemothafuckadance).  The god of wine will manifest himself in the form of Welch's concord grape juice for all attendees. 

Beached Whales

Kamp Koop will provide emergency relief effort to those who claim the winter blues is the cause of their listlessness and indulgence in Friends reruns whilst lounging like sea cows on the upholstery.  We will not let you get crushed by the weight of your own body, dammit.  We will help you find solace in knitting, knife throwing and scotch.

Austrian School

We will serve the left-over root-beer tonight while we review Friedrich Hayek's The Road to Serfdom in the north lounge.  Please note that we will cover Alex de Tocqueville's The Road to Servitude and everyone's favorite, Johnny Keynes' The General Theory of ..., later in the week.

Up for the Downbeat

An esteemed musical trio will perform live with a wooden beat-box named Jon in the metal shop during the evening dinning hours.  Hors d'oeuvres will be provided by our local Parisian Palace restaurant and the root beer will come straight from the new batch made in the chemistry lab.  A documentary about cheetahs will follow the show for you night-owls and nature lovers. 

Making the Cut

After an exhaustive search for the finest men's barbershop in all the land, we at Kamp Koop awarded our praise to the beatniks down the street.  Please note that whiskey, pool tables and grooming do not mix; trim your mop and then meet the fellows out for a cordial.  

Chaise Lounge

We will host a party tonight in the showroom of the furniture factory to celebrate all of our lazy summer achievements. We are especially proud to announce that the Crooner Crackers, our newest four piece kamp band, will premier at the event.  Their harmonies are not tight, their repertoire is lean and they only have a tenuous grasp of phrasing, but boy do they have heart!  Come one, come all! Please remember to dress like gentlefolk.

Karaoke

Please stop spreading rumors about Dominique Strauss-Kahn taking over the DJ booth tonight.

Stormy Sunday

This Sunday we will have a four piece Rag-Time band and Sazerac Cocktails* on the main terrace where we plan to welcome Irene and all of the new Kampers.  Boater hats suggested.  All are invited.

*We will provide root beer for the teetotalers and HI-C for the Racket Ball League.

Red, White but Mostly Blue Lazarus

In light of the volatile rhetoric that is bubbling out of the Republican presidential primary race, we chose America as the recurring theme for the new Koop semester, which begins in just three days.  We highly recommend the following reading/viewing for insight into the country's ever-changing character:

1. Franz Kafka's Amerika

2. Jean Baudrillard's America

3. Trey Parker and Matt Stone's Team America: World Police

4. Alex de Tocqueville's Democracy in America

5. Nancy Pearcy's Total Truth: Liberating Christianity from its Cultural Captivity (a Bachmann favorite)

Duck, Duck, Zoloft

A number of members of the Androgynous Advertising Association  found a sense of empowerment Tuesday night while reading select Baudrillard passages aloud around the nightly kampfire and s'mores roast. Specifically, they were fond of the idea that advertising represents "degree zero of meaning" within current societal structure.  Even so, the empowerment quickly dissolved into an open quarry of existential angst when they analyzed the current iteration of their advertisement for the upcoming Koop Film Festival that has neither a location nor any selected films.  The ad was shot in stop-motion and involves a complex narrative about a lonely duck that gets caught in the rain.  It is tongue-in-cheek yet "cute" all at the same time but it has nothing to do with a film festival.  If their ad has nothing to do with something that is horribly incomplete, then they have stepped behind degree zero into a world of unrealized understanding.  Sound familiar?

Green Thumb

The kampers have thus far proven themselves as savvy investors.  All the participants profited and three notable members were so skilled as to treble their principal on a compounding daily basis.  Of those three, two will run a small hedge fund for the kamp out of the long abandoned and newly renovated powder magazine north of Koop Pond. The third member chose to continue on with his Koop Grant Project to build a reverse osmosis lab in order to source "perfect" water for his agricultural experiment entitled "Plant Parenthood" where he plans to coddle fruits and vegetables with ideal growing conditions in warehouse three.

Seal-ing the Deal

No, we're not advocating the clubbing of adorable baby seals.  Instead, as friends of capitalism and game theory, we are crafting a response to the current political quagmire (the one that followed on the coattails of a thrillingly muggy weather pattern to the swamp that we call our Capital).  Our response follows the old adage "if you can't beat them, join them." Only we suggest instead of joining them, we profit from them.

Here's the deal: every kamper gets $100 to invest in the markets.  Do it wisely.  Fear is a funny thing.  Good luck.

Stand By Your Bat-Phone

A local neighborhood watch group recently commissioned Kamp Koop to design and build a Bat-Mobile for their nightly patrols.  We ask that any interested kampers amend their summer plans and return to Kamp to help with this challenging off-season project.