Attention all: please allow us to open our veritable trench-coat and expose the oddities of the last few months to our beloved kampers and friends...
After a much needed post-engagement overseas bender, we woke out of the haze of celebration to find our netflix account hacked by a team of private equity investors making the crudest attempt to get our attention. It worked. They set us up so that we raked in enough fees for destroyed DVDs to financially ruin not only our personal net worth but also that of the kamp (their laywers found some strange loopholes that put the kamp on the hook for the debts of its senior partners). In an effort to save the kamp, we hastily made our way to the port of Shanghai and spotted a PANAMAX in need of crew. We were hired and departed at sunset.
Upon our arrival at the port of Elizabeth, New Jersey, we were immediately detained by the port authority and found their "interpretation" of Fourth Amendment rights a little different than we expected. Of all the souvenirs collected, we were most sad to have had confiscated a letter drafted to us by a community group in Delhi, India thanking us for exposing government corruption in their area.
With nothing but the dingiest of our cloths remaining, we were forced to hitchhike back to kamp. The journey was difficult. When we arrived, we discovered that the Private Equity investors had already managed to legally purchase our debt. The kamp, our dream, now had a new owner. Pardon: equity partners.
After one, single, lonely failing quarter, the equity partners decided the kamp was not a core part of their portfolio so they sold off all the assets including the URL and the name. We managed to grab the URL in the sell-off frenzy. The other assets were far out of our price range.
After a grueling search, we found a suitable location to restart the greatness that once was. In honor of the new spot, the new name for the institution is The Pharm. Though May-Day has come and gone, we hope to honor the start of the first summer season at The Pharm this weekend with our closest friends and kampers.
Thank you to all who supported us in these trying times
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