Karaoke

Dominique Strauss-Kahn is not and never was the featured DJ this week.

Peter's Projection

Memorial Day weekend provided the exact excuse we needed to grill Chicago-Style "dogs" for the kampers.  The results were astounding.  A special thanks goes to the Art Institute for their donation of the homemade mustard; it was the kamp-wide favorite of the day.  To capture the zeitgeist of eras bygone, the kounselors once again  honored the finest of blatantly archaic east coast traditions by eating their decadent-dogs in fashionable white linen outfits (provided by Chanel this year, styles now available in the gift shop with tailoring included).  Since many of the kids are soon off to travel with their parents, siblings, maids and nurses, we decided it was fitting to work a geography lesson into the weekend by panting a Peter's Projection Map of the World on the main quad upon which the kids marked their summer destinations with their initials in Arabic.

Mr. Smith Goes to the Koop

Kampers, lest we all forget, the Koop's summer session is officially right around the korner. That being the case, we thought a little fanfare was in order.  The Jimmy Stewart Estate has agreed to lend us Mr. Stewart's "likeness" for the first day of kamp.  With the "likeness" at our disposal,we are going to mount a quasi-original screenplay, written in round table fashion by the executive board of the Koop.  The title is apt: Mr. Smith Goes to the Koop.  The premise has changed only slightly (girls are now included in Smith's proposed kamp legislation).  The filibuster is in good form and we hope to perpetuate
that sentiment throughout the balmy season.  

*Let the rumors be quashed now, Sam Seaborn shall NOT be the keynote speaker at this year's kamp kommencement.

Red Tape Removal

After a three month fact finding study, we learned that the registration process for the kulinary workshop was unnecessarily confusing and weighted toward admitting Midwesterners.  In our ongoing effort to eliminate inefficiency, we simplified the forms and hope to see a rise in attendance. 

Pearly Whites

Kamp Koop would like to reiterate that as an institution of betterment, we are quite fond of dental hygiene.  Your teeth are the best friend you've got.  Remember to see your dentist once every six months.

Little Blue Pills

It looks like our friends at Pfizer sent a few too many complimentary boxes of their best selling product to the counselors.   We plan to evenly distribute the remaining supply amongst the kampers and local wildlife.

What's in your Bumper?

Tonight we have a special guest from the local law school who will present a 20 minute lecture about privacy in America.  We plan to follow with a Q & A session and a group trip to the kamp motor pool where we will search the vehicles for some of the fancy new sticky GPS tracker toys that are continuously getting stuck on the cars driven by our prestigious Kamp Koop journalism team.

Unexpected Visitors

At 3:09 PM twelve high-profile Al Qaeda operatives were discovered and captured in a network of caves under Ruxton, a town roughly ten kilometers north of Kamp Koop.  It appears the extremists were holed-up for the better part of a decade in an effort to avoid the melee in Afghanistan and northern Pakistan.  They were discovered by an employee of Graul's Market on what at first appeared to be a standard delivery run.  The area is now safe and secure.  All of the parents were called to confirm the well being of the kampers.

Statistics Class

Two slot machines were installed in the A/V room over the weekend.  The ribbon Cutting ceremony is scheduled for tomorrow evening at five.  A special thanks is in order for Goldman Sachs, our corporate sponsor.

Huzzah!

ALL IS SAFE!

Our little "dog issue" is over and everyone is safe.  Thank you for your cooperation.  Your response time was incredible; the monthly fire-drills proved to save your lives.

EMERGENCY! STAY INDOORS UNTIL FURTHER NOTIFICATION!

A pack of mangy, wild dogs from Pennsylvania has somehow wandered onto our kamp grounds.  Follow fire-drill procedure #2.  Also, do not look into the eyes of the feral animals and remain indoors until notification stating otherwise.  If you are a Late Lunch Laxer or an Evening Squasher with your custom engraved Beretta shotgun ready and loaded then you are permitted outside.

Thank you for your cooperation

May Day

We at Kamp Koop were thrilled with the turn-out for yesterday's festivities.  The tables were filled with a cornucopia of provincial French food and wine, while the mood reflected the absolute optimism of the season.  Special thanks are in order for both the cat-lady who was gracious enough to parade her pageant animal through the grounds before lunch and Aloysius, our resident carpenter, who made a new May-Pole after we donated ours to a garrison of Icelandic soldiers currently stationed in Canada.